Lots of stuff going around town this weekend. No plans? Then check out the Mobtown Community Calendar!
In my head, there's theme music accompanying the above lines, sort of like the staccato synth music they play at the beginning of your local evening news: "DAN-dada-DAN-dada-DAN-dan ...presenting...
dada-DAN-dada-DAN...The Mobtown Community Calendar!
Yeah, I know. Huge freak. Anyway, here goes:
Why kiss my Blarney stone and disarm my IRA, it's the Baltimore Irish Festival! If the uillean pipes, mashed potatoes with scallions, and little riverdancing moppets with ringlets and frilly skirts are your thing, then you'll wanna clog right on down to the National Guard Armory for your annual chance to hang out with a bunch of beefy Baltimoreans with put-on brogues hoisting pints of Guinness in honor of the auld sod. Through Sunday.
If, like Mobtown, you tire quickly of corned beef and 'Danny Boy,' you can nourish your soul -- or at least score some cheese cubes and cheap Chardonnay -- at the opening reception for the Creative Alliance Biennial Juried Exhibition, 6-8 p.m. at the Patterson Theater. The reception is free, which is a real selling point if, like Mobtown, you happen to be broke. For those of you who are flush with green (and I'm not talking about the beer at the Irish fest), you can stick around for the juried short film/video screening; a mere $5 for cool member-types -- like Mobtown-- but a whopping $8 for lame-o's like you.
Looking to free your inner hipster? Wanna wake up, light an American Spirit before brushing your teeth, draw on a pair of madras polyester pants and a bowling shirt, and go be all stinkily iconoclastic with a bunch of people who look a lot like you? Take a trip down 'e Abnew, hon! Hampdenfest boasts food, art, urban charm, community spirit, and your very own shot at becoming the this year's Hampden Idol.
If you didn't swill too much Natty Bo at Hampdenfest the day before and you're feeling all crunchy granola, you should get up early, throw on your cross-trainers, and head over to the Jones Falls Valley Celebration. The stretch of I-83 that runs over the Jones Falls will be blocked off from 8:30-2:30, allowing all us Baltimore-boosting nature types to kayak, bike, run, or just mill around and listen to the bands. Be sure you're out of there before they reopen the expressway, though; getting squooshed by a northbound minivan full of pasty tourists from Shrewsbury, PA would be a pretty lousy day to cap your weekend.
See, who says there's nothing to do in this stinking town? Oh, right: that's usually me.